I've been reading a lot of different blogs lately and it seems like talking about why Black women are and forever will be single is what's hot on the streets. We've all heard the statics that say the majority of Black women have never been married and how Black men outnumber us...blah blah blah. I'm not going to even waste my time with the exact number because they're just statistics i.e. not absolute. The only thing that you can be sure of in this world is that you will be leaving it one day, so I try not to let anyone tell me what will or won't be.
The reasons I've heard for Black women being single are valid, but they all stem from the same issue...society making us feel insecure about what we desire. I for one love Black men...you might even say that they are my Kryptonite *superwoman*. It's not that I don't like men of other races or wouldn't consider dating outside of my race, but I prefer Black men and it's just simply that. I don't need outsiders telling me I should date outside of my race if I ever wanna be happy. I also don't need anyone telling me that the smarter I am, the more likely I am to be alone.
Black women are no different from all women in that we work and have careers. Most families honesty do not have the luxury of having just one parent stay at home while the other is the sole breadwinner. I know my family doesn't rock like that and I can't think of anyone's family whom I know personally that does. Despite having to work, many women still have to play the role of homemaker. Subsequently, while some of us want to be stay at home Moms and others want to be CEOs, a lot of us want both.
Those of us that want both put the career in the front seat because it's the one we think we have the most control over. Why put so much focus into finding something that isn't definite? I need to be able to provide for myself. If I continue to do me, the right man will come along if it's meant to be, etc. While I do agree with doing whatever it takes to be happy on your own, women need to be willing to invest just as much effort to having a SO as they do to having a successful career. Now I'm not saying to go out on 15 blind dates a week or constantly go out on the hunt for a husband. However, just as we would in school or any job, do your best to be as on point as possible so people notice and more opportunities for advancement are thrown your way. Even if you're just going down to the bodega, don't put any damn sweats on. Even if you're not crazy about the dude tryna holla in the club, you don't have to shut him down in the meanest way possible. If your feet hurt, find a nice spot to perch your butt and smile. If you're nervous, take a shot and dance like no ones watching. Be open to getting to know different people, even if he may not seem like your "type", he might turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you. I am personally guilty of meanmuggin, being self-conscious, and over looking all types of dudes so I'm taking my advice just as much as I'm dishing it.
~Peace, Love & Chocolate
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